Fear

I read today Eckhart Tolle saying the ego is afraid to die: afraid to die at any moment, to lose consciousness or be forgotten, not just to die with the body. Well, actually, maybe it is not afraid, but it uses fear to keep us from letting go of our identification with the mind.

This is related to my entry on identification with the object of concentration. I have, after that first satisfying experience, had a very difficult time letting go and leaving the supposed home of my consciousness in the physical brain and moving into the location I am focused on in my body. While I can feel those sensations there, I am very separate from them, and I can feel a strong fear of wrenching myself from that seat in the brain and moving into the "object". I have to let go of something, I can't really tell what, but my reaction to it is a painful fear. It is like I will go insane or lose all control if I move out of my brain. I know from experience it can be done and in fact it is quite enjoyable, but the fear makes it difficult to make that leap again. I was something that "happened to me" before, not something I had complete control over, so I react to it with a fear of losing myself, losing control.